Category Archives: Personal

Personal: How To Get My Daughter To *Want* To Give Hugs

Age 5-7, Personal, ,
She really is sweet!

I never thought that my daughter would be my less affectionate child.  I just assumed that girls are more affectionate and loving than boys.  That’s not the case with my daughter.  She’s not my affectionate child.  I love her dearly and am so blessed to have her in my life but it is strange to me that she doesn’t want to snuggle or give me hugs like my son did when he was her age.

I’m starting to believe that what comes around goes around.  When I was a pre-teen my mom bought me a book about hugging. I wasn’t a fan of hugging or affection in general and now I know how sad that made my mom.

Madelyn practically knocks Tim (my husband) down with huge hugs when he gets home from work.  Me?  I have to beg for hugs. At bedtime.  Before I leave for a business trip.  When I get home from a business trip.  Anytime.

I am not going to let her see that my feelings are hurt because I don’t want her to give me hugs just because she feels sorry for me but darn.. my feelings are hurt and I don’t know how to handle the situation.  I’m not going to force her to hug me although I practically beg (in a non-obvious way) some days.

She always wants me to play with her but when I ask her for a hug she acts shy like I’m invisible or I’m putting her out.

My son is my affectionate child and I am very grateful that he still gives me hugs and kisses.  He is twelve and I thought he would have grown out of giving me hugs and kisses but thank goodness, he hasn’t.  I don’t know what I’d do if neither of my kids wanted to hug me.

I’m on a press trip for work this week and when I left today it was nearly impossible to get a genuine hug out of Madelyn.  Meanwhile, Sebastian gave me a great big bear hug and a kiss and said “I love you mom”.

Do you have a young child who is not very affectionate? How do you handle it?

Alicia Hagan, Editor

Momentary Impatience with our Daughter’s Sock Sensory Issue

Personal, , ,

After you read this brief story about my experience this morning and if you have a child who has sensory issues and doesn’t like to wear socks, clothes, shoes, etc. please leave me a comment with any tips on how to handle this type of issue.  Thank you!

We were in a hurry to get the kids ready for summer camp this morning and Miss M didn’t like the socks she was wearing for camp. She told us this after she was situated in the car, ready to go, which itself took way too long. Miss M was squeamish in her car seat because her socks were so uncomfortable.

child doesn't like to wear socks
These are 2 pairs of socks that our daughter doesn't like

Madelyn has had an aversion to socks ever since we put socks on her for the first time. As a baby she would rub her feet together to get the socks off.  Now, she says that the seam hurts her.  We even buy seamless socks like these.   I never understood why, but after researching the Internet about children with sensory issues, I found that it is very possible that even the seam of a sock can hurt her foot. I found a lot of websites like these here and here on which mothers talk to other mothers about this phenomenon and how socks can actually ‘hurt’ a child.

Madelyn’s dad got very aggravated because he and the kids were already in the car, ready to pull out of the driveway when this drama happened. I was trying to help when I asked if he had any other socks with him or if he knew where some other socks might be and he said “no” as he huffed and puffed while dealing with Madelyn.

I ran inside the house to get her a new pair of socks, came out and handed my husband the socks and I quietly said “these were in her drawer”.  I swear I didn’t mean anything by it except for stating a pure fact. The socks were in her drawer.’  His reply was “was it really necessary to tell me that”?  Kind of startled, I said “no, but I sure didn’t mean anything bad by it”.  I hugged and kissed the kids goodbye and they drove off.

So now I’m thinking of ways we can avoid this situation in the future.  One solution would be for Madelyn to pick out her outfit the night before camp or school and wear the complete outfit so she can make sure it’s comfortable. Have her wear the outfit around the house for 30 minutes or so. Then she would know before the day of, if the outfit is comfortable or not, and we wouldn’t have to spend 30 minutes changing socks, shoes, and shorts because there is something wrong with what she’s wearing.

My daughter does not have ‘official’ sensory issues but she has had an issue with socks, shoes, and pants since she was a baby.  She is 6 years old now.  She prefers to wear dresses and sandals all the time so she doesn’t have to deal with socks, shoes, pants, or shorts.

???

Do you have a child who doesn’t like to wear socks or has an aversion to other clothing?
How do you handle it?

An MRI and an Alien Invasion – A Personal Story

Health, Personal, , , ,

 

 

 

MRI Machine
MRI Machine - that's a narrow tube, right?

I was diagnosed with Degenerative Arthritis of the Spine about two years ago.  I have dealt with the pain by doing Yoga, stretching, and laying on a heating pad every night.  I’d like to think that I can tolerate pain pretty well these days.
In April though, I started experiencing more severe pain than usual in my neck and upper back and decided that I needed to see my doctor again.  The doctor checked me out, gave me a shot of something that made it so that I couldn’t drive, and said I needed to get an X-ray and MRI right away.  Party time, right?

The X-ray was no trouble at all.  Quick and easy.

The MRI on the other hand.. quick and easy was not the case.

I am a bit claustrophobic. I don’t like sitting with my back to the crowd because I prefer to always see how I can get out of a room if I need to. I don’t like hanging out in closets, and I prefer not to go through underground tunnels when driving if I can avoid it.

During my MRI this morning I thought I was going to have to push what the nurse called ‘the rescue button‘ for at least the first 5 minutes of being inside the narrow MRI tube.  My heart was pounding what seemed like a thousand beats per minute and I thought I was going to stop breathing because I thought surely I wouldn’t be able to escape from the narrow tube if I needed to or the tube was going to collapse on top of me.   In hindsight I know that if I really needed to get out of the tube I could have scooted out of the tube and that the chances of the tube collapsing on me were very slim.  Those facts were not at all reality while I was inside the MRI machine.

The alien space invasion

alien invasion sounds
This is the alien I was visioning while stuck in the tube.

After I got over the claustrophobia issue, I felt like I was in the center of an alien space invasion.. for 30 minutes.  The noises that came out of that machine were insane!   There were loud booms, ticks, and zappy sounds for the 30 minutes I was inside the machine.

After 30 minutes the nurses voice came through a speaker and he said  “It’s over now.  That wasn’t so bad, was it?”.  It’s like he had no idea that I was just zipped into another dimension for 30 minutes.  Really, how could he not know?

Want to know more about MRI and Degenerative Arthritis of the Spine?

Alicia Hagan, Editor

My 5-Year-Old Won First Prize and I Won Bad-Mom Award

New posts, Personal

My daughter’s school gave all of the students (Grade K – 5th grade) the opportunity to participate in a ‘Kids Corner’ writing contest where they had to complete the sentence “My favorite thing about winter is..”.

I wasn’t going to make my five-year-old daughter participate in the contest because I thought that it would take her a long time (10 minutes of sitting still is an eternity to me sometimes) to write the sentence and the chances of her winning the contest were very slim.  Yes, I deserve a bad mom award for thinking like that. 

So here’s the story..

The night before the contest entry was due I decided she needed to participate in the contest.  She needed to work on her handwriting and when I saw this sentence on the entry instructions “If your child can only write one sentence that is OKAY. We are trying to encourage our children to write. They will be judged against their peers in their grade level.” I thought that it might now take as long for her to write her entry as I originally thought it would.

Here is her sentence:

Kindergarten writing contest

We sent the contest entry to school with her the next day and we didn’t hear back… for a long time.  About two weeks ago, early April, she came home with a certificate saying that she won first place in the Kindergarten class!  I was shocked.

That’s when I gave myself a Bad-Mom Award.
I shouldn’t assume that just because my kids might not be enthusiastic or really great at a particular something, they can still do a great job!  I shouldn’t have assumed that she wouldn’t win and I am glad we gave her the opportunity to participate in the writing contest.

Here’s the kicker..

Because I have been very busy and I don’t keep up with noticed from school very well (for which I also get a bad mom award), I didn’t realize that she was able to read her entry at her school’s book fair.  Then to top it off, the day of the book fair I thought I’d read the award certificate again and somehow I had missed the entire sentence about the book fair being at Barnes & Noble!  All of the kids with winning entires were given the opportunity to read their entry at the school’s Barnes & Noble Book Fair.

Here is the video I took of my daughter reading her sentence at Barnes & Noble

I thought surely there wouldn’t be very many people at the book fair but boy was I wrong!  The parking lot was packed and there were at least 100 parents and kids from her school at Barnes & Noble.  When we walked in I wanted to turn around and leave.  I thought she was going to start crying and say that she wanted to leave but it turns out that she was amazing!  She stood in front of everyone, spoke through the  microphone, and did a great job. She stumped on one word, build, but other than that she did a great job.

I am very proud of my daughter!

Alicia Hagan, Editor

What My Doctor Pulling a No-Show Motivated Me To Do

Health, New posts, Personal

I am absolutely exhausted. My entire body is sore, especially my calves, but I accomplished more this weekend than I have any weekend, in years.

It all started Friday afternoon when my doctor didn’t call for my 4:30 telephone appointment. I waited for his call for five hours. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t expecting to get the results of my CAT Scans. I anticipated that phone call all day..for two weeks actually. Starting at 4:20 I held my phone. Then at 4:30 I was ready to answer the phone and hopefully be told good news. At 4:50 the receptionist at the doctor’s office called me to ask if I was coming in for my appointment. I said “NO! I’ve been waiting for the doctor to call for fifteen minutes”. She said that he was running behind and would call within an hour. An hour and fifteen minutes passed. I called the doctor’s office. The receptionist assured me that the doctor would call soon. 9:30 came around and I gave up. I really held the phone until 9:30.

Pulling weeds

Saturday I knew I needed to stay busy so I wouldn’t obsess about the missed call and lack of test results. So I..

  • Cleaned out my car
  • Pulled weeds
  • Swept the front deck
  • Cleaned the sandbox cover
  • Cleaned the front door
  • Cleaned the baseboards in the foyer
  • Cleaned the walls in the foyer
  • Swept and vacuumed the kitchen, living room, upstairs hallway, and my daughter’s room
  • Exercised

Today, I pulled all of the weeds out of my big garden and raked. I don’t remember the last time I sweated so much. Maybe I burned a few calories. While I was raking I stumbled across a snake. My son caught it and showed it off to my husband before letting it go. My son weeded and conditioned his vegetable garden to get it ready for planting.

Tonight, after I got home from a fun blogger get-together I cleaned out my closet. I filled two large bags with clothes to give away.

Chances are I’m not going to accomplish that much in one weekend again for a very long time.

I’m counting on talking to the the doctor Monday.

If I don’t, maybe I’ll clean out the garage or build a deck. 🙂

Alicia Hagan, Editor