Personal: How To Get My Daughter To *Want* To Give Hugs - The Mommy Insider

Personal: How To Get My Daughter To *Want* To Give Hugs

by Alicia in Age 5-7, Personal

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She really is sweet!

I never thought that my daughter would be my less affectionate child.  I just assumed that girls are more affectionate and loving than boys.  That’s not the case with my daughter.  She’s not my affectionate child.  I love her dearly and am so blessed to have her in my life but it is strange to me that she doesn’t want to snuggle or give me hugs like my son did when he was her age.

I’m starting to believe that what comes around goes around.  When I was a pre-teen my mom bought me a book about hugging. I wasn’t a fan of hugging or affection in general and now I know how sad that made my mom.

Madelyn practically knocks Tim (my husband) down with huge hugs when he gets home from work.  Me?  I have to beg for hugs. At bedtime.  Before I leave for a business trip.  When I get home from a business trip.  Anytime.

I am not going to let her see that my feelings are hurt because I don’t want her to give me hugs just because she feels sorry for me but darn.. my feelings are hurt and I don’t know how to handle the situation.  I’m not going to force her to hug me although I practically beg (in a non-obvious way) some days.

She always wants me to play with her but when I ask her for a hug she acts shy like I’m invisible or I’m putting her out.

My son is my affectionate child and I am very grateful that he still gives me hugs and kisses.  He is twelve and I thought he would have grown out of giving me hugs and kisses but thank goodness, he hasn’t.  I don’t know what I’d do if neither of my kids wanted to hug me.

I’m on a press trip for work this week and when I left today it was nearly impossible to get a genuine hug out of Madelyn.  Meanwhile, Sebastian gave me a great big bear hug and a kiss and said “I love you mom”.

Do you have a young child who is not very affectionate? How do you handle it?

Alicia Hagan, Editor

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