This is part of my new ‘Not a Perfect Parent’ series because much to my dismay, I am not a perfect parent and I need advice sometimes often.

I need to come up with a solution to a problem my 7-year-old daughter and I are dealing with.  I would love to get your thoughts and advice on how to deal with this problem that we’re having.  This is not a serious, life-changing problem.. just one that my daughter and I have been dealing with for a few years and I am tired of it!  That being said, let’s move on to the problem.

When it’s time for the kids and I to go anywhere other than to sports practice I get panicky because Madelyn, my 7-year-old daughter, gets it a tizzy about which shoes she’s going to wear, what socks to wear and what jacket to wear, and finding them all is a hassle much of the time.

The clothes she wears don’t matter.  She doesn’t get flustered about her shoes, socks, and jacket because she can’t find the right items to look fashionable oor stylish; she’s not one of those girls yet.  She has her days when she puts together a really cute outfit with layers and great color combinations and even a nice mix of patterns, but that’s not the norm.

Here’s what happens…

She either can’t find the shoes she needs to wear because by the time we leave to go somewhere she doesn’t remember where she put her shoes or her brother puts her shoes somewhere to get them away from the puppy, or one shoe gets stuck under the shoe rack in the coat closet and the other shoe got tossed into one of my teenager’s or husband’s shoes and she can’t find it…the list goes on and on.

This happens despite what I consider to be my best efforts to have a routine which includes immediately putting her school shoes in the coat closet right next to the front door as soon as she gets home from school so she knows where they are when she needs them.   The jacket situation is a bit different in that she has a few jackets and which jacket she wears is very dependent on the weather or so she says anyway.   If there is a slight breeze, she wants to wear her purple light-weight jacket but if there is a chill in the air she wants her pink fuzzy jacket.  If it is warm she wants her cream sweater with the wrap around tie.  Again, despite my efforts to keep all of her jackets on the coat rack in the foyer, 80% of the time she can’t find *the* jacket she’s looking for.

So the drama begins when she looks for another pair of shoes because she can’t find her favorite shoes that she wore to school earlier in the day then she gets frustrated because she can’t find the *right* shoes.. you know, the shoes that fit just right and don’t rub her ankles the wrong way or squeeze her toes a little too tight.   Before she puts her shoes on she has to find socks.  Finding matching socks, despite that I put all of her socks in her sock drawer with a match, can become quite a predicament.  Maybe she has too many socks.

Within about 3 minutes of me telling her that she needs to get ready to leave the house, she starts freaking out then I freak out because I don’t understand why this happens time and time again, then we’re both a a big bundle of freak-out!   Then, we get to get into the car together and enjoy a fun ride to wherever we’re going.  😉

It’s been like this for years and I swear I make an effort to help keep up with her things.

Since writing this post, I have come to the conclusion that the real issue may be that I allow myself to get worked up.   I have a tendency to get anxious about things which is exactly why I make an effort to keep things organized and planned; so that losing things and having a crazy freak-out doesn’t happen.  But it still does.

Oh, and when I say I “freak out” that means I get a little flustered.  I sound like Fancy Nancy don’t I?  I don’t raise my voice or get angry.  I just get frustrated that the same thing happens over and over despite what I’ve done to keep it from happening.  Do you have that issue too?

Is this something that parents just have to deal with because we can’t completely control our children as if they were robots?

Thanks for listening, 

Alicia

Do you have a question you want to ask in the new ‘Not a perfect parent’ series?  Leave it in the comments below or email your question to me at alicia @ themommyinsider.com, no spaces.